welcome to the danger zone

This Space Intentionally Left Blank

 

So, there I was, prepared to lull you to sleep with my latest soul-searching foray and a treatise on forgiveness. And then I was about to dazzle you with my wit. However, my workday ended with negativity, so I feel it’s important to address that, so that my dreams are not a series of ways to work out my frustration (ie. murders). I won’t go into detail, but rather, share with you the wisdom that shook out of the no-good-very-bad-Tuesday-4:30-to-5:30 day (Read the book).

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If one wants to have people believe they are sane, they must attempt to act it.

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There are things you can tell everyone. There are things you can tell no one. Then there are things that you can tell everyone and yet no one will understand. Then there are things you can tell people OVER and OVER and OVER and they will never ever understand. All of this gives me a headache.

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Why do the trees in the valley areas get their leaves before the trees at the top of the mountain? Isn’t the top of the mountain closest to the sun? (It is unnecessary to explain why to me, I know the answer, it was just a rhetorical question)

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When you find a razor blade and want to put it somewhere safe, dropping it into a box of you craft tools will never be the safest place. Yes, you will find it, but it won’t ever be “safe” especially if you don’t remember it is in there. I should not be allowed to have razor blades in the first place. Or scissors, knives, needles, clippers, tacks, pins. Or matches.

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Sometimes you have to just say “fuck it” and pin pictures of cupcakes and furniture made out of popsicle sticks for hours on twitter.

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A salad will not make itself. And purchasing a pill box so you remember to take the pills you need to take daily is not effective if you fill it, put it in your bag, and then never take it out to take the pills. Pills will not take themselves. Despite what you “remember” from that one night back in ’99. (I have changed the name of the year, to protect the innocent, namely me)

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Cars should have lasers. So you can cut people in half. If it’s necessary.

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Peanut butter will be your best friend.

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It’s not important to know what kind of bug it is, just that it’s dead.

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You will always be thirstiest right when you sit down after forgetting to get that glass of water while you were up.

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One day you will suddenly realize that you know longer think that people are talking about you when you aren’t included in the conversation. You will feel wonderfully liberated. I mean, other people think that too, right? I can’t be the only one who thought that.

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Okay, that’s enough. Move along. Besos.

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