welcome to the danger zone

and you came here looking for justice…

Justice? Not Tonight.

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Miss me?

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Well miss no more, I’m back.

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I did the unthinkable. I went to one of those rent to own joints, and put $100 hard earned dollars down (which probably would be better applied to one of my many overdue bills, but true to my grasshopper spirit, I threw it down on a computer) on this here ‘puter. It’s still just a windows based lappie, not the highly coveted macbook pro which I wanted ever since I got my master’s degree, but we just have to keep that dream alive. I’m a bit rambly tonight, since I am in a ridiculous amount of pain for the last two days – multiple tablets of make-the-pain-go-away-opiates have done nothing to take it away. And in case you have trouble remembering what that pain actually feels like for me, it’s like a mole is burrowing through my femur. Or like I am a magician’s assistant in some bad magic act and the guy with the hat is trying to saw me in half, except it’s the middle of my thighs and the saw is way too dull and trick isn’t working out right. Or like my thigh is being gnawed on by a komodo dragon. Oh wait, not that, because komodo dragon spit would paralyze me, and at this point, that would feel awesome.

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Sorry, none of this is j related.

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And you came here to read me ranting about justice. And I’m not. And I won’t be. Why you ask? Not because justice doesn’t warrant a rant from me, but because as I was playing with this new lappy, I loaded some pictures from one of my more recent zoo trips. I think this one was my birthday trip – and I found some pictures of the jacob sheep. What is a jacob sheep? I’m not sure. I’ll google it later. (so can you – I’m not going to tell you about it and ruin it for you) I’m just going to show you pictures. And tell you that I believe this sheep was often mistaken for a devil in early cultures. It’s the horns. I don’t know if this is actually true or not, but I’m pretty sure that I am entitled to my own theory about these things. I mean if whole groups of people can buy into the theory that dinosaurs never existed and that the earth is only two thousand years old, then I can come up with my own theory about what influence jacob sheep had on religious beliefs of people I’ve never studied.

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My theory is at least based on some sort of evidence. If you look at certain pictures of the devil/demon, it has horns similar to the jacob sheep. Some even have hooves like it. Or even wool. It’s kind of like a celebrity look-a-like photo, except that I’ve never seen a devil in person, but I have seen a jacob sheep, so I am sure at least one of these things is real. (I have, however, seen tasmanian devils, and the Shenandoah Valley Blue Devil, because she lives next door to me). The evidence is right here:

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See how these devil pictures are nearly identical to the pictures of the jacob sheep? Hard to tell the two of them apart. I was tempted to label them but I wanted to see if you could figure out which were which on your own.

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So now that you are schooled on the jacob sheep, you can go to the Philadelphia Zoo to see them. I am sure they are also in other zoos, but I have not been to any other zoo recently, so I can only authoritatively state where I know they are. They also have red pandas there there. But no elephants.

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It seems that my body is finally shutting down, and my eyes aren’t staying open, despite the pain, so I must be on my way to bed. I don’t want to fall asleep with the new laptop in my lap, because then it would slid off and break and I would be wandering around lost again like I was the last two weeks. For those curious about what I got, it’s a HP laptop with a touch screen. And it has THREE WORKING usb ports and ALL the number keys. And a really nice keyboard feel. And windows 8. And it’s quiet. And if I pay it off in 120 days, then I just pay the normal cash price, which is 1/3 of what the coveted mac book pro would cost me.

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Some new J words before I go: jactitation, jettatura, jobbernowl, jumart, and…

jentacular.

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