Hwyl is the emotional state capable of arousing intense eloquences.
Let’s see if we can achieve that here. I’ve already written a few paragraphs and then deleted them. Not happy or hopeful enough.
So let’s talk about home. Because lately I’m thinking a lot about what home means. I have a house. Well I rent a house. A big house. For me and my son. We’ve lived here for almost ten years. It still doesn’t feel like home. It’s a building, like a storage unit where we sleep. It’s never felt like home – always a temporary stop in finding home. It’s in my home town. Near my dad’s house. Where I grew up, and never felt like home. Just another place to keep my stuff temporarily. I’ve never really lived anywhere that felt like home. And weirder still, when I dream of home, it’s an ocean. A beach. Not a house. A small beach, with crashing waves. Maybe I’m a former elephant seal. Or walrus. Who knows? But home is an ocean. But for now, home is a box. With things in it. And most of these things were bought to try and make it a home.
Yesterday, when we were driving home, we were behind an airstream trailer. I told Andy that the airstream was my dream home if I couldn’t have a little stone cottage near the beach. Because I don’t know what it means to stay in one place. I’m a nomad who is stuck. Home isn’t meant to be a place for me but a feeling. And I haven’t found it yet.
So h is for home. And the hope I’ll someday find one.
and because you are waiting for them: hadeharia, haslot, helminthology
This entry was posted on 15 April 14 by dpecky. It was filed under A to Z challenge, Profound Insights, Random Rambling and was tagged with a to z challenge, anxiety, atozchallenge, challenge, family, flying monkeys, funny, gratitude, happiness, home, humor, inspiration, nomad, ocean, positive attitude, rant, restless, squirrels.