welcome to the danger zone

bromatology, babysnatching, Buffy, buteonine

two days, two entries.

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I think I’m going to at least make it to p so I can discuss pangolins.

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Today’s blog is brought to you by the letter b (and in honor of that, a poem I wrote with b words is here)

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and the number nine. But no one cares about numbers. Poor numbers. They should just go off and die.

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Today I will discuss baby-snatching and Buffy. What do baby-snatchers like me, and Buffy, slayer of vampires have in common? Well for one, we can both be considered protectors of good, defenders of innocents. Buffy slew the undead, and baby snatchers sometimes slay the people and things that nightmares are made of (of course, the Slayer had stakes and in later episodes, stockpiles of cool medieval looking weapons, and a snatcher’s toolkit is her (or his) intelligence, wisdom, and probably a court order.

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Then there’s the whole crisis of conscience thing. Buffy struggled with love and need to protect her loved ones, like her sister, when she discovered Dawn was the Key, and again, during the times of Dark Willow. We snatchers struggle with many ethical dilemmas, like having to sometimes remove a tearful child from their home because it isn’t safe. We sometimes have to make decisions that don’t always make us feel good, but are the right decision, like when Buffy leapt to her death as a blood sacrifice instead of dawn.

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You are probably thinking…wow, I never realized these striking similarities between Buffy and the business of being a baby-snatcher. That’s right, because I am making this up as I go along, and indeed, surprising myself with these revelations! But wait, there’s more…

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Buffy, as you know, lived over a hell-mouth. Going to the office feels like we are IN a hell-mouth some days. Buffy had to patrol all the time. Unfortunately, once you become a snatcher, you are, either consciously or unconsciously, always on patrol. I offer as proof the fact that for a few months, I could barely leave my house without locating a child in need of my intervention. (and like Buffy, my work is never done, you save one, and five minutes later, there’s another one needing saving).

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Still aren’t convinced of the parallels? Okay. Well, I can give you another. Or five.

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Buffy had a great, dry, sense of humor. An appreciation of the ironic. A tight group of trusted comrades. Me too. Especially the trusted comrades. For as hard as our job is, I have a mighty fine group of coworkers who have my back, and who can be counted on to bring laughter into the mix to take the edge off the unpleasant task of snatching.

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You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world… is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.
―Buffy, Season Finale, Season 5 “The Gift”

 

 

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Buffy was not always fond of being the Slayer. Some days, I too, am not fond of being a snatcher, but like the Slayer, it is my duty. At least for now. And unlike the Slayer, I’m not required to do it until I die. And Buffy spent a lot of time in cemeteries. As do I ( this is a very personal comparison, it is my belief that many snatchers do not value the beauty of cemeteries as much as I do, although, I highly recommend them for their soothing silence)

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I suppose this makes little or no sense to you if you were not an avid fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the series, not the movie – I’m not a fan of the movie, but I do own the boxed collector set of all seven seasons of Slayer) so if you have never enjoyed the Slayer’s antics, I suggest you start now. Watch it once and take it at face value, and then watch it all several more times to catch the commentary on family, relationships, morality, ethics, and social commentary. Many a college paper I have written on themes in Buffy. It’s masterful and fun at the same time.

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And here’s some more b words, for your googling pleasure…

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brobdingnagian, bantling, bdellism (you will really like the last one)

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and with that my buddies, I bid you buenos noches and bye-bye.

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