welcome to the danger zone

Baby Snatcher Blues

I’m feeling rather peevish today. I keep reminding myself that there are many good things in my life and that I could redirect my energy to meditation or reading or even crafting something. Nope, here I am, knowing full well that what I put out there brings more of the same. However, I also know that if I don’t vent a bit, I’ll be tossing and turning for an hour before I sleep and THEN I’ll end up taking some tylenol pm and be a miserable beast in the morning.

 

I don’t like people. I may have revealed this fact before, but if not, here it is, for the world to see. I don’t mind being alone. I like my own company. Alas, the world is full of people, and I have to work with them, or at the very least, interact with them. And yes, it’s only Tuesday, but this week the job seems like I’ve been working 30 days straight without a break. People have looked me straight in the eye and lied to me, I’ve gone into places that will leave me with emotional scarring for a lifetime, and then I have been forced to meet with people who fancy themselves professionals just because they received some paper from a university stating they graduated. Well, in that fancy university where you got your degree, they certainly didn’t teach you to act like a grown up. Or to have compassion. Or be kind. Or how to treat others like humans. And if I had had a flamethrower today, I would have made headlines.

 

So now it’s relaxing time. Am I relaxed? No. I am wishing I had a job as a character at Disneyland. Sure it might not be as glamorous as my current job as a baby snatcher, but at least I wouldn’t have to respond when other idiots are speaking about things they know very little about. People wouldn’t expect me to be a magician, an accountant, a counselor, a driver (because I’m too lazy to use spell check to correct chauffeur), mapquest, a mindreader, a polygraph machine and a teacher.

 

(breaking news: spring has officially arrived here – the neighbors have taken their family “discussions” to the street so that all of us can have alternative to television – I, for one, could not wait for the weather to get pleasant enough outside to need to put the air conditioner in the window to simply block out their dulcet voices late at night – I rarely hear “fuck” this often outside the agency’s offices)

 

We return now to our previous ranting. While writing, I have been adjusting my attitude, hitting mute on the remote now and again to hear if the bellowing has died down, and trying to stay focused on the writing. I wish I could win the lotto tomorrow and go off and volunteer somewhere but in order to win, I would have to remember to buy a ticket. Yet, in spite of all the unpleasantness of the day, and the disappointment in the soft Chips-ahoy root beer float flavored cookies, I still come away with a bright spot – actually two – from the kids I am keeping safe – a hug and growl, both given with much affection. And any day when a kid who usually won’t even look at me, growls and giggles, is probably a pretty good day.

Oh yeah, and in this past week, I believe I’ve helped two littles onto a better future. Pat on my back for my role in that shit. It’s the little things, it’s the little things, it’s the little things, it’s the little thi….

 

(And for those of you lucky enough to have heard tell of my most recent cockroach encounter complete with hand gestures and horrified faces, sleep well knowing I still jump a little every time I think something moved in my peripheral vision. Enjoy that image.)

 

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