welcome to the danger zone

Why I Should Count My Pills and Drink Decaf…A Cautionary Tale

I think I took one Effexor too many yesterday, so I’m a bit manic today. Then because being skittery wasn’t enough, I made some coffee in my french press. So now I’m jacked up on caffeine and trapped in the house and overwhelmed by all the things I should be doing. Like going to the Foster Parents Association Christmas Party. Which, because I would have to venture out into the snow, I have elected to pass on. I don’t like snow, winter, cold or ice. I hate the months of November, December, January, February, and most of March. If I had to give up Christmas and my birthday to avoid winter, I’d be on it in a hot minute. So how do I handle this mania and caffeine overdose? I’ll write.

Sorry dear readerlings if my unsated need to write these last two days bores you to tears. If it’s any comfort, I am feeling snarky today, so this will probably be funny. So stick around, I may not make you cry today. Uncomfortable, probably, but I think I’m going in a non-crying direction. So what’s going on in my self-important universe this morning? Well it’s political talk show morning. So I am indulging in my Sunday morning pastime of scowling at the inane things that white male conservatives say about the current state of the nation. I’ve put my pills in the pill-box so we don’t have this mix-up later in the week. I’m multi-tasking as I write, mentally planning the next steps in this morning’s art projects. I have found that last week efforts to organize the madness of my creative process resulted in panic this week when I couldn’t find what I need. I was up most of the night waiting for Andy to get home safely from work. I should be sleeping now that he is safely passed out on the couch, but noooo, my sleep schedule is fucked. Despite this drama, I am grateful there’s a roof over my head, and heat in my house. And coffee. Of which I will drink another cup of despite the fact that it will make me more jangly than I am now.

I feel like I should be out shopping. Just doing some mindless consumerism. Fortunately, I have no money. This time of year makes me insane – on one hand, I have a list of things I would like to buy for Andy and things I would like Santa to bring me. (in particular, a damn dryer so I can stop with the indoor clothes line and eliminate the mountain of laundry that exists because I have no dryer). The other, non-attachment, stop-consuming Diane is like…avoid buying things at all cost. But then I see the craft store ads, and I’m like…I NEED that ribbon/paper/yarn/do-dad AND it’s 70% off! I must hoard craft supplies for the coming craftpocalypse. It is so bad, that while going through a box of uncompleted Christmas crafts the other day, I found a bag of lightbulbs that have probably being in there for over 10 years because I was going to make them into snowmen and Santa Claus. I have boxes full bits of string, wire and yarn, like a giant bird building a nest. And I need more. I am only glad that I have absolutely no money to buy anything. I still have to get gifts for the kids I adopted, and my work secret santa. And a ham. Because, if we have nothing else in this house at Christmas, we will have a ham. The mileage reimbursement check fairy should be arriving this week. Hopefully sooner than later.

Hopefully you will get to see some of my recent projects later today. I’m selling some of the stuff I made to get some cash so I can get presents for my kids from work. I’ve got a box full of hats and scarves and jewelry and cards that I have to photograph and put on my website. This was supposed to be done months ago, but alas, procrastination is one of my best qualities, and the stuff is still sitting here. Wow, there’s a pogo whisk on TV. I need that. There’s also a fake canary I need. I watch these commercials and I say, man if I had that my life would be so much better. Reality, it would sit with the other things that would make my life better. Food processor? Check. Food Steamer? Check. Food Dehydrator? Check. Bullet Blender? Check. Espresso Machine? Check. Ice Cream Maker? Check. Foot Bath? Check. Last time I used any of this? I can’t remember. But damn, if I ever am faced with a appliancepocalypse, I am ready. I do lie, I used the bullet blender for smoothies. But that equation is (rotting smoothie veggies X spoiled yogurt/bad bananas) > smoothies actually made.

This my friends is why my plan to walk away from everything is so appealing to me. I don’t want to pack this shit. I just want to get in the car and go, with some clothes, my ipod, my lappie, my journals, my monkey and blankey and go. Drive home to the Pacific Ocean. And wipe the slate clean.

On that note, it’s time to go, because if I start thinking about driving to the ocean, things will go downhill fast. And I’ve got things to do. Like watch this nu-wave oven commercial and drink more coffee. And paint. Be well my little bloggy buddies, and be safe in your travels.

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