welcome to the danger zone

Suffocation

I would like to think that knot in my chest and stomach are directly related to the tightness of my bra, or indigestion, or sitting in this chair for too long, but I know it’s not. It is anxiety of the worst kind, and it’s chewing me up and for the first time in my life I wish I had a xanax. Thus, the point of this bloggage is to make a list of all I am thankful for to flush this vicious toxicity out of me…I can’t remember the last time I felt so utterly cranky. I mean there is this very palpable irritation that has overwhelmed me, and deep breathing and visualization is doing nothing…so here goes…hopefully recalling all I have to be grateful for will take the edge off…because taking the bra off did nothing.

 

I am grateful for:

  1. My son

  2. My friends.

  3. My coworkers.

  4. A roof over my head.

  5. A car that still runs.

  6. Text messaging.

  7. Food in my fridge.

  8. The bag of fresh cherries downstairs.

  9. Bridget standing in line to get me bleenies.

  10. Air conditioning.

  11. My family. (they’d be higher on the list right now if I didn’t think they are part of my current anxiety)

  12. That at least some of my bills are paid in full.

  13. Water.

  14. Pain medication (even thought it’s done little to take the edge off today)

  15. Long car rides.

  16. A good bed.

  17. Music

  18. A job.

  19. Good medical insurance.

  20. A good sense of humor.

  21. Thunderstorms.

  22. Books.

  23. My writing skills.

  24. My friends (this cannot be taken for granted)

  25. Cookies.

  26. My education.

  27. Puppies.

  28. The following words: llama, paradigm, visceral, and paradox, and several others.

  29. Puppets.

  30. Siberia.

  31. Lemurs.

  32. Oceans.

  33. A computer and internet access.

  34. Babies (particularly Mariah, who is just the most adorable baby alive)

  35. Vodka (although I have had none in the last 8 months, but am looking forward to a lovely hard cherry lemonade in the near future.)

  36. Online blogging.

  37. Dalai Lama

  38. Sleep.

  39. The comfort of taking one’s bra off.

  40. Realizing that whatever it was that nearly turned me into a psychotic witch, is far less important to me that the previous 39 items.

 

That is all, lovelies. You may continue about your evening.

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